can i go to india to become a buddha?

settled well in to dissertation writing here in my hideout in southern california (in the town from which this photo here was taken). my hosts have a four-year-old daughter, for whom my robes, shaved head and life in general are a source of ongoing fascination. my first day here, unsolicited and out of the blue, she looked at me quietly for a moment and said, "i want to go to india to become a buddha. can i go to india and become a buddha?" this, despite the fact that i had told her nothing of life in india, and certainly nothing of buddhist theories of enlightenment.

she later peppered me with other questions - are there little girls like her in india with those kind of clothes, indicating my robes? do they go to school? would she have to cut off her hair?

i told her she could definitely become a buddha if she wanted to, but maybe better to try when she was a little bigger... what i did not say, but might have, was that i too want to go to india to see about becoming a buddha, but first have to finish this dissertation ...




and a little PS for anyone wondering, southern california is indeed rather warm in the summer.

saying my reluctant goodbyes

it is a bit more than three years since i first came to india for what was to have been a year of dissertation research. this extended period in 'the field' has been fruitful beyond what i could have imagined when it began, and has been fruitful in unanticipated ways.

these fruits grew slowly, in gardens that were initially harsh and sometimes lonely, but always lush in their rewards: reading vinaya narratives in sanskrit five to six hours a day, month after month, in visakhapatnam with the magnificent prabhakara shastri garu whose kindness to me far outweighs his not inconsiderable gruffness. later, reading in tibetan with lobsang norbu shastri, tashi tsering and geshe rinchen ngodrub in dharamsala and in varanasi with shrikant bahulkar-ji; their erudition, humility and gentleness of spirit were a rare and deeply inspiring combination. what i received from them are not small gifts.

i do not think it an exaggeration to say that i really learnt sanskrit and tibetan during this time in india, although on the day i first landed here, i had already completed five years of sanskrit and some eight years of tibetan language study. some years ago i attended a summer seminar in sanskrit regional literatures in jerusalem, led by some of the finest western scholars of sanskrit literature, and at that time i became aware that those scholars whose depth of knowledge of sanskrit culture and language most inspired my respect and admiration had all spent long periods of time reading in india with indian pandits and scholars. most had been years in completing their dissertations. on some partly-conscious level, their example was a partial inspiration for my willingness to open up this large swathe of time to read in india. that example itself was a gift i have savored slowly over these three years.

these years themselves were funded by grants from fulbright, american institute of indian studies and woodrow wilson foundations. truly, their support has been no small gift.

during the past two years, two dear dharma sisters from mexico came at different points to stay with me, and each received her ordination vows during that time. these are great, great gifts.

however, perhaps the greatest gift of all was the bond discovered and deepened during these three years with my lama, his holiness the 17th karmapa. within days of my arrival in sarnath in 2006 for this research period, his holiness happened to turn up in sarnath as well. although i had already met his holiness in 2000, when he first arrived in dharamsala from tibet, this time he gave a short talk for western students that overwhelmingly alerted me to his depth as a teacher. a month later i found myself in a private audience translating his talks into spanish for a group of pilgrims from puerto rico and mexico. in the three years since, those auspicious beginnings have ripened in many ways, too many to even begin to document here.

although my connection to his holiness is without doubt the towering centerpiece of the luxuriant and generous garden that has taken shape through my time in india, alongside that steady and protective presence there now grows the nuns' community i have so long yearned to be part of. my two dear mexican dharma sisters opted to remain in india and a fourth nun has joined us, and somehow together we have found the conditions for a harmonious and joyful monastic life.

i leave india now, to finish the phd requirements that led me here in the first place. but many seeds have been planted, and are being nurtured beautifully by the warm, moist compassion of this lama and of our community's commitment and care for one another. a new research project awaits me here as well - but that is a whole other story, and perhaps an other blog. so just as soon as the dissertation is done and defended, i will be back. i will return to share with my dharma sisters the fruits of life in monastic community, and to explore whatever other opportunities to grow and serve together might happen to crop up.

until that hopeful day of return, i will let our community blog speak for me. what words may find their way onto this site in the future, we shall have to wait and see.




to read more, follow this link.



* first photo in this entry taken in sarnath in 2007, where this dazzling time in india began, second during teachings by hh karmapa at root institute in bodhgaya in 2008, and third at our home in dharamsala in 2009.

bound for sherabling

my time left in india can be counted now in weeks, but one of those weeks - or eight days, to be precise - will be spent in sherabling monastery, translating teachings on mahamudra from tai situ rinpoche for a group of spanish-speakers from a dharma center in barcelona. i had the great fortune of translating for them last year rather unexpectedly after the translator they had arranged was unable to come, and we made warm and lasting connections with one another. as you read this, i will be reconnecting with my dear catalunyan friends, and offline altogether until at least april 23.

photo above was taken at last year's transmission, and is posted here courtesy of www.palpung.org. i am that fuzzy little figure in the bottom right corner!

provisioning for life in india

my friend beata just left for london after a week of intense (and joyful) work here on a polish translation of the prayers used in the annual kagyu monlam prayer festival. beata left, but hopefully not for too long, as she hopes to return to complete this rather hefty project before the upcoming monlam. i too will be bringing this 'year' in india to a close soon, for an intensive dissertation-writing period in a semi-retreat in the states. so it seems to be a time for departures and aspirations to return.

in the time we spent together here, somehow she left without going over as we had planned some suggestions for things to bring from europe for life in india. i am sharing here a list i compiled for another friend who came to india for a long term stay my first year here, so it is oriented towards a stay in sarnath where i then lived. it is also much more cautious and thorough than i would be now if provisioning anew, but these are all things i use regularly. i also add some comments here and there to reflect life in dharamsala - better power supply, greater extremes in weather.

i would also like to request those of you who have spent time here in india to add your observations and suggestions, so we can co-create a sort of open resource for those bound for india long term.

Lighting - Bring some flashlights, because of the frequent power outages. I got one called a Petzl headlamp that you put on your head and then wherever you look, it lights there. I can read and study with it. Others bring ones yo ucan stand up that light the whole room. You will also want another small one to hold by hand and take with you when you are out walking. Street lights are a rare commodity here.

Mosquito net. It is hard to even sleep without one in Sarnath at times, and they are sometimes hard to find here and always of lesser quality than is readily found in the States or Europe. Best to get one that only needs to be hung from one string,usually called Spider style I think. I got one for about $10 from ebay. It works fine.

Rope and clothespins - It is helpful to have some nylon cord and a few plastic clothespin so you can hang your clothes to dry inside during the monsoon. You will also need the cord for the mosquito net. You can get both rope and clothespin here, but again it takes some running around, and you may have some already that you can just bring.

Locks. Bring a good padlock to put on your door. Your computer will be pretty much irreplaceable here, even with everything extensively backed up. I have seen people take a crowbar and open the Indian locks when they had lost their key. You can buy locks here but it is hard to find good quality ones with multiple locks (I live now in a community of four, and we had to wait for a trip to Delhi to find a lock that had more than three keys). Good combination locks are helpful too if you share spaces. A lock with a chain is also good for train rides, so you can chain down your bags. Luggage is routinely stolen from train compartments., especially if you travel sleeper class. A friend of mine found a bookbag that can be locked to anything in your room, and cannot be slashed open. Very handy to have, especially for train rides and staying in dodgy hotels! It is called Pacsafe and you can find it online. Just Google 'Pacsafe.' Again kind of expensive and perhaps overkill, but a lot less than replacing your valuables.

Umbrella. A good raincoat or sturdy umbrella is a good idea. Think monsoon. The ones you get here have very short lifespans. One good gust and they can turn inside out on you, and during the monsoon there are many excellent gusts.

Pens - Nice pens make good gifts. Boxed or unboxed.

Battery recharger. If you have time in Delhi, I suggest getting a battery recharger so you can recharge AA batteries. The batteries you buy in India seem to get used up in a few hours, and there is nowhere to deposit your used batteries where they will be recycled responsibly, so bringing many batteries from abroad is not a great solution either!

Vitamins. Staying healthy is a bit of a challenge. Bring vitamins - especially B- complex and other supplements specifically recommended for vegetarians (assuming you are vegetarian). But I particularly urge you to bring one of the acidopholus-type supplements that basically allow your stomach to stay healthy, by replacing the healthy intenstinal flora. I took it regularly my first two years here and had virtually no stomach problems. Here is the one I use, Jarro-Dophilus. If you bring echinacea, you may also have moments of great self-gratitude.

Water purifier. I am using my own water purifier, and think that it has been an important condition for my staying as healthy as I have. MSR or Katadyn are reliable brands. You will also need to buy and bring along replacement cartridges. I only found I needed to replace the cartridge every 9 months or so, but I proba bly do not drink as much water as I should. This might seem expensive, but so is buying water - even at 12 rupees a liter, that is about $15 a month! Apart from the expense, when you note that most plastics are disposed of here by burning or being tossed into landfill, it is a bit horrifying to think what imprint you leave behind in a year of drinking form water bottles. Boiling is not enough to purify the strains of water-borne diseases here. Here is the one I use. Best prices in the US are at www.campmor.com. You can also get flashlights here.

Abode Acrobat or other pdf creator. I had a lot of difficulty printing files in Sarnath. Not all computer places had USB ports, and the one near my room that did not even have Word! Even if you find one with Word etc they are unlikely to have the fonts you use if you work in other languages. They usually do have Abode reader, so the only way I could print was by saving files as pdf files and then printing them like that. So if you don't already, you might want to install a pdf file generator loaded on your computer.

ATM card. If possible, make sure your ATM card does not expire during the time you expect to be in India. You can call and ask them to send one with a longer expiration date if you explain the situation. There is an ATM even in Sarnath these days, and that is by far the easiest way to access your overseas account. and also gives by far the best exchange rate. Some travelers checks and cash are fine to start with, but mainly you can get cash from the ATM every few months as needed.

mp3 recorder. For those coming ot India for research, I highly recommend a small mp3 recorder for when you read with people, especially if you do so in Tibetan or other language of which you are not a native speaker. Also for Dharma practitioners, it is wonderful to be able to record teachings to review later. I got one from iriver (www.iriver.com) with 1GB memory that holds 50 hours and runs on a single AA battery.

Memory sticks (USB sticks). For file transfer and as backup. Get two, the more memory, the better. I had one wiped out when trying to download files another student sent me. (Many computer shops here do not have good virus protection.)

Vegan Sandals. Although you can easily get plastic sandals here too, if you have them, you might want to bring any waterproof sandals (ie not leather), so you can rinse them when they get dirty, which is constantly, and also for all those times when you get caught in the rain. Crocs work will in this climate, and if you have time in Delhi they can be bought there for much less than in the West.

Checkups before you go. If you have insurance, get your teeth checked and ask for a complete checkup soon, so you can take care of anything they might find. Tell them you will be in India for a year, and ask them to do your blood work. It is a very bad idea to arrive here with your health impaired in any way. (That said, now in my third year here I finally found a really solid health clinic and dentist in Delhi that can do excellent overall checkups and medical care. But it will mean a trip (and stay) in Delhi. Here is the number of the dentist 011 26152999 and I will try to dig up contact details for the clinic and add it later to this post:

If you wear glasses, you should bring along a copy of the prescription for your glasses, in case they get lost or if you want to make some new ones quickly here. Glasses are cheap to make here but personally I think you might get a more thorough eye exam in the States. (I think I may have related once the story of my appointment with an ophthalmologist in Visakhapatnam whom I found, when I entered his examining room, reading a large illustrated book entitled 'The Eye'. (I had to travel twice some distance to make and then get the appointment, and it is a sign of the state of indifference that I reached after a year here that I went ahead with the appointment. and even as I type here I am peering at the monitor through the lenses he prescribed for me. I should point out that he was not holding the book upside down; I am sure I would have gone elsewhere if he had been.)

Some basic medicine. When I was staying with my Sanskrit teacher in South India, he and his wife both fell sick from colds, and were really delighted to have some cold medicine. In fact, they used all my supply in the matter of two weeks. So when thinking about what to bring, though you might prefer not to take it, it is good to have even to share with others. If there is anything you use, for colds, or headache or stomach upset or anything, definitely bring it with you. The quality here of medicine can be iffy (and in any case meds are seldom stored in refrigerators and even if they are, the electricity supply will be uneven.) Herbal cough drops are very good to have, as our throats seem to get irritated easily by the dust and pollution. It is good also to just have one hand a basic antiseptic cream for cuts. Infections happen easily in this climate.

My friend tsultrim-la adds these excellent suggestions and her explanations why:

earplugs. countless nights of sleep saved due to them and at times i had to wear them continuously for weeks, depending on where i was staying.

ginger tablets for travel sickness. even if you don't usually get car sick in the west, i found the roads (and driving!) in india are usually another story.

fifty years

tomorrow is the fiftieth anniversary of the lhasa uprising, a day when tibetans' efforts to protect his holiness the dalai lama from perceived threats to his life by chinese communist army officials rapidly turned to bloodshed. the dalai lama had been summoned invitation to a 'theatrical performance' at the headquarters of the chinese army encamped outside lhasa, a performance to which his bodyguards and other escorts were specifically not invited. perceiving this as a thinly veiled attempt to imprison their beloved spiritual leaders. thousands of tibetans (by some accounts as many as 300,000) began camping around the grounds of his residence, offering their physical presence as a sort of human wall to encircle and protect him. chinese soldiers swiftly moved into position, with artillery placed in range of the dalai lama's residence. the bloodshed began soon thereafter. although he himself had escaped for the long and perilous trek into exile in india at night, 800 shells struck the dalai lama's residence. within a week, some 86,000 tibetans lost their life, and all tibetans had lost their country, their self-determination and their spiritual, moral and political leader.

this is why there was no new year this year. and it is why, after 50 years of occupation, some tibetans have taken drastic steps that move far beyond the main path of non-violent resistance, including an instance of self-immolation that has shocked all the tibetans i have heard speak of it (always in hushed tones). [technically, the attempt at self-immolation failed because chinese soldiers shot and killed him before the flames could end his life.]

it is also why this morning, at the temple of his holiness the dalai lama here in dharamsala, many many people gathered to pray for the long life of his holiness the dalai lama, and it is also why, at the same event, the oracle who is consulted on crucial moments on matters of import to the entire tibetan people was called out and entered trance in public. at a highly charged public event, his holiness the dalai lama held the oracle's medium by one arm while his holiness the karmapa held the other, as the oracle pronounced on the future of tibet at this critical juncture. the prognosis and advice indicated by the oracle were not made public.

but what was very much on public display was the intimate connection between these two leaders of tibetan buddhism, his holiness the dalai lama and his holiness the karmapa. to indicate the extra-ordinary trance state in which the oracle's medium has entered, a massively heavy hat is placed on his head. although while in trance he is able to bear the weight, once the trance ends, his head must be sustained lest his neck break. the sight of the two 'his holinesses' literally sharing the burden of the future of tibet serves as a vivid indication of the role that lies ahead for his holiness the karmapa.

equally clear is this video, in which his holiness the dalai lama tells his holiness the karmapa that he expects him to carry on his responsibilities once he is gone. hh karmapa's response makes it clear he has an idea just what that might mean.

a great deal could be said about the complexities involved in a spiritual leader's accepting a basically political role as leader of a people. but tibetans look to those they consider their moral authorities to set the course for them, and tibetan buddhist leaders consider it their responsibility to offer any guidance and assistance they can to those who ask.

in any case, it seems separation of church and state may be a luxury that those without a state can ill afford.

news flash

Doctoral Candidates Anticipate Hard Times.

that is literally the headline of this ny times article.

oh dear.

raising the world

listening this morning again to teachings that were given by his holiness the karmapa in bodhgaya... this series of teachings was given specifically for western students this past january while i was in bodhgaya, and i was swept up in a rather strange confluence of conditions - not least of which was the presence of 60 poles hungry for dharma teachings but quite a few lacking enough english language to follow the teachings. anyway somehow i ended up co-translating the teachings into polish with my friend and dharma sister beata stepień. although i had been quite fluent when living in poland in the mid-80s, polish is not exactly a language i use daily. after a year of living with spanish as a daily language, sharing as home as i do with two mexicans, attempting to translate simultaneously from tibetan - a language i am struggling to become fluent in, into a language that was struggling to arise from the murky depths of my linguistic memory made for a very disorienting cognitive experience. as i translated the words seemed to be skipping over the english part of my brain - the part where most actual thought takes place, and much of the meaning also seemed to have leapt over with the words. so there was much new to be heard when listening now a second time.

one bit of advice that his holiness offered for parents with a commitment to a spiritual practice struck me as potentially useful to … well, to people with children. in a style that i am coming to recognizing as vintage hh karmapa, the advice he gave is deeply buddhist in one sense, but potentially relevant to virtually any spiritual practitioner.

in short, his advice is to raise your children in a loving way, with the thought that you are doing so in order that they come to be of benefit to the world.

simple, right? in fact, it may sound so simple that one fails to see how much effort it will take to really live by - or how transformative it might really be if one is able to do so.

actually, his holiness cautioned, to do so as a spiritual practice, one will have to make a deliberate point of bringing this wider purpose to mind, again and again. the objective has to be made clear, as if one were setting a policy for oneself. otherwise one can end up being vague and inconsistent about what exactly one is doing in one's child-rearing. so when parents are engaged in any activity to care for and raise their children, they can intentionally cultivate the thought that they are seeking to give their child a good upbringing with the aim of making a contribution to the well-being of the larger society, and ultimately of all the world.

although he did not say so, it seems to me that this attitude shifts the emphasis from simply one's own offspring (or one's nieces and nephews, in my own experience), whom we can often end up treating as extensions of our own egos, to a vast and inclusive wish to contribute to well-being and goodness in the world at large. for most parents, it may not materially change their external behavior, but internally, it seems to me cultivating this vast intention could shift something subtle but important.

not having children, it is hard to say how this might work, and i would be extremely interested to hear from anyone who experiments with this practice. but i will say, i have found his holiness' advice to be devastatingly powerful, if put into practice.

anyway, for those parents inclined to read advice on child-rearing posted on a nun's blog, there you go!

...photo is taken during those teachings. beata is the one looking happy to my right, i'm the one beside her straining to hold her brain's language centers together.

soe lhatson and bhumo

the house i share with three other westerners in dharamsala shares a wall with drolmaling nunnery, a tibetan nunnery with 200 nuns in residence and undergoing a 15-year intensive training program in buddhist philosophy and debate. among the nunneries built in exile, drolmaling was designated as one of the nunneries for tibetan nuns who had been imprisoned as political prisoners - nearly all for having taken part in peaceful protests asking for greater religious as well as political freedom for tibet. it was thought best for their healing process that such nuns should make their homes in nunneries with others who shared that particularly traumatic experience.

while sitting across the wall from this community, this morning i read online a short item from the ny times mentioning the sentencing of two tibetan nuns to 9 and 10 years for participating in the protests that were taking place all across tibet last spring.

i quote the item here in full. somehow i found the matter of fact tone of the piece somehow highlights the sinister quality of the devastating facts it reports.

Four Tibetans in Sichuan Province have been sentenced to prison for taking part in protests last spring, according to a Tibetan advocacy group. Two are nuns from the Pangri Na convent in Garze County: Soe Lhatson, 35, sentenced to 10 years in prison, and Bhumo, 36, sentenced to 9 years, said the group, Tibetan Center for Human Rights and Democracy. They were among 55 nuns arrested after a protest on May 14, the group said. Two other people were sentenced to three years each for taking part in a protest on March 18, also in Garze.

it bears mentioning that pangri-na nunnery houses a total of 80 nuns. it is thus clear that the nuns had decided as a community to offer their bodies and voices collectively. only a dozen or so nuns who had been committed to do prayers for families in that area had been absent from the protest. after the arrests, chinese police raided the nunnery and those nuns who had not protested were reportedly "restrained with tied hands and detained for the whole day. Then their hands were untied and they were released after being held for one day, but still they are not allowed to leave the nunnery." they were later subject to 'education' sessions by chinese officials following the arrest of their sister nuns. the 50 - 55 nuns who were involved in the protest last year were reportedly beaten severely at the time. about 40 of them were held for six months and released and another 12 nuns from this monastic community in eastern tibet are still in prison. the 12 still under arrest are said to be leaders of the community.

his holiness the dalai lama mentions sometimes an ordinary tibetan monk he met and whom he asked he had ever been in danger during his years of imprisonment in tibet. this monk replied that indeed he had, and when his holiness asked him what danger, he said he had been at times in real danger of losing his compassion for his chinese jailers. since these two nuns are in their 30s, they may have had the years of buddhist practice needed to authentically adopt such an attitude towards their gaolers. but the total physical control that prison guards have over their wards in the prisons in tibet makes female prisoners - and somehow it seems especially nuns - particularly tempting targets for forms of victimization.

in the very best case, they will emerge in the years 2018 and 2019 with some inner humanity intact. if they still have the courage and resolve to make the long trek over the himalayas to escape to india - a trek that is particularly fraught for ex-political prisoners as if caught they know precisely where they will be sent back to, they might find homes in tibetan nunneries here. but unless they have exceptional resolve, these two, at least, will most likely be too old to begin the long and arduous training program here at drolmaling.

i am posting this message on february 25, the day of the tibetan new year. it may go some way towards explaining tibetans around the world do not find cause for reveling in the dawning of yet another year of this current situation.

soe lhatson and bhumo are just two of many, many other nuns in similar situations. but their names made it on to the public record, and so we have this modest chance to see them as individuals, recollect them, and connect with them in our minds as particular human beings, even once in a while over these long years ahead. their parents names too were published, so can include them too in our thoughts. soe lhatson's parents - no doubt afflicted terribly now by the news of their daughter's sentence - are yeshi gyaltsen (her father) and her mother is named drukdung. tenzin thinley and theymo are the father and mother of bhumo.

in the vast networks of possibility, soe lhatson and bhumo could become our neighbors, in a distant future too rosy for these two even to dare to dream of in their coming days, weeks, months and years of incarceration. whether their future brings them in our geographical direction or not, i want already to acknowledge our connectedness to them in a broader human sense. for our part, we four in this small across the wall from what could be their future home will be repeating their names from today on in our evening prayers, doing our best to accompany them in our own small way.

photo of a nun at drolmaling comes from their website

lhasa, guge, princeton, dharamsala, bodhgaya

to remember a magical moment in bodhgaya last january with wen-shing - traveling companion from the tibet site seminar trip, neighbor from dharamsala and dear friend.

there will be no new year this year

normally this time of year my tibetan neighbors here in dharamsala would be joyfully cooking, cleaning and beginning their rounds of friendly visits to share in welcoming the new year, which begins next wednesday according to the tibetan lunar calendar. and i would be preparing for a long hiatus from opportunities to study or read texts with my tibetan teachers. but this year, my teachers have told me it is fine to continue meeting to work together and for class next week. i do notice a good deal of the house-cleaning that accompanies this holiday, but otherwise, tibetans are not celebrating the new year this year. as they explain, it just would not be appropriate to adopt a festive tone when so many tibetans were killed this past year, and so many more are still captive in prison in tibet. from today's ny times article, it seems tibetans within tibet are under pressure from the chinese government authorities to put on their happy faces and go on with business - or holiday - as usual. most are unlikely to do so, by all accounts.

and here, tibetans in exile are free to celebrate or commemorate as they see fit. given the choice, the period is being marked with peace marches, hunger strikes and a general preference to honor the sacrifices made by those within tibet, rather than enjoy the taste of their own freedom in exile.

this upcoming year is particularly poignant for tibetans because it marks 50 years since their country was lost to them, with the invasion of communist forces in 1959. after 50 years of unswerving commitment to non-violence as the path to recovering their country, this path thus far has not yielded a single substantial concession from those who continue to occupy tibet and run it as if it were their own - which indeed it has effectively become. reflecting the lack of success of the earlier policy, his holiness the dalai lama urged tibetans to adopt a so-called 'middle way' path in which they relinquish their demands for independence for tibet and seek instead a more modest state of autonomy in which chinese remains formal dominion over tibet, but tibetans are granted autonomy in practice of religion, and follow their own internal policies - a bit like the relation of the 50 states to the federal government in the us. this too has been rejected wholesale by the chinese officials. in rueful acknowledgment of the lack of progress towards even these more modest goals, earlier this year tibetan refugees from around the world assembled to vote to decide if they would continue to respect the middle way path suggested by his holiness the dalai lama. the result of that vote was to affirm the collective tibetan determination to maintain non-violence as the cornerstone of their response to the chinese oppression within tibet, and to continue to wait for a softening of policies in china.

even the hunger strikes reflect the combined principles of fierce determination and gentle wisdom. those who refuse food and drink to express their solidarity with those in prison and to register their protest of the situation in tibet do not strike to the death. rather, people come and fast together for a few days, and then yield their place to others willing to make this symbolic sacrifice of their temporary well-being, but wise enough to do so without sacrificing their lives.

photo of tibetan nuns on hunger strike by getty images

like we were gods, but also human

en route from sarnath to dharamsala, i stopped briefly in delhi for a talk about friendship at tushita meditation centre in delhi. while in town, i had lunch with my friend meena, a teacher at the american embassy school and visited her classroom. the embassy school, like the americam embassy across the street from it, is accessed only after the sort of security on might expect at an embassy site in a country plagued by terrorism that can be explicitly targeted at americans, as we saw recently in mumbai. after showing my passport at the guarded entrance, there was a repeated twilight-zone sense of having left india entirely. the entire school could have been lifted up from any american city and dropped piecemeal into the center of delhi, complete with its disaffected teenagers, their hip wardrobes and high-tech accessories. as meena and i - a teacher they knew and a buddhist nun they did not - strolled together across the campus, one thing i encountered that i would not expect in your random american high school were the frank looks - mixing curiosity and a quiet respectfulness - that we received from the students.

the school largely serves embassy offspring and the children of other expats. though it does accept local students, the annual fees of $20,000 - for a day school no less - makes it accessible only to the tiniest slice of local population. as it turns out, meena had taken her ninth graders to tushita some time back, and given them an opportunity to experience buddhist meditation. she mentioned that they had written of their experiences and offered to send me a copy. i found their responses both sociologically interesting and unexpectedly inspiring, in terms of the impact of even the simplest buddhist tools - applied even briefly - for opening the heart. i share here a sample of the students' frank responses in hopes they might also touch yours.


When we all got into the room we all took pillows and sat on it. Ms. S then explained what the whole place was about. After that we closed our eyes and we sent happy thoughts to one person that we thought needed them the most. We did this because Ms. S said that we usually think only about ourselves. Which is true, people are very self-centered. I thought of this little street girl that I see every day at the stop light near my house. I had seen her crying the other day and I just couldn't stop thinking about her. It just made me feel really sad. So I tried to send her all of the happy thoughts I had within me. – Scott

We sat in a circle and practiced meditating and creating these good vibes. In doing so, not only was I relaxed, but I also felt that possibly the person I was sending the vibe to might receive it and be happier. This chance to relax and be positive was both spiritually and physically calming. From our field trip I learned that Buddhism exists in the most random locations of the city and that it's not the location of a religious center but rather what it contains. – Danny

While I was meditating Ms. Srinivasan whispered to us to think about someone who was suffering and to think about them from our side. She then told us to give them a blessing from the bottom of our hearts. At that moment I felt a sense of pride coming over me because I hadn't done such a deed for someone in a long time which proves how selfish we humans can be. Others who live on the streets and live in hardships every day are satisfied and are happy to a certain degree. Those people are heroes and whom I look up to and am inspired by because they hardly complain. After that Ms. Srinivasan told us to remember the last time we ever helped anyone. Honestly for me it had been awhile because I always tried or attempted to but I never ended up helping my friend or family member. As I thought of this I felt dissatisfied. Even though it was only a blessing it came from my heart and I really care for that person but unfortunately they don't know that. I hope someday they will. This experience has made me more mature and to keep a lookout to help those in need. – Kresha

We were told to clear our minds completely and think of any one person that we know or we've seen that is suffering. Then from deep inside our hearts, we were to wish the best for this one person. Then we were to think of all the people in the world and do the same for them. I think this is a really good principle of this religion. When you think like this, you are basically telling yourself that every living person is in a way like you and is basically you. When you show compassion for these people, you are not only helping and caring for them but helping yourself. – Anmol

I think that every religion is the same just looking at different points from different angles and giving more importance to some things. When you start seeing what each one is about you realize all of them are kind of the same. I think Buddhism is a really nice way of seeing life, but at the same time I think it is really difficult because you care a lot more for others than for you and it is really cool but I need to be honest…I mean for me it is really difficult. Anyway, if some day I can really care about others without thinking about myself first, it is going to be a miracle. I would really like to learn more about Buddhism. When we did the meditation I felt so relaxed and I think it is a good and nice way of remembering the people who are going though a hard moment, especially the ones you know but as well as every single person in the world that is suffering. In our daily life we hardly think about all of the people in the world that are suffering and when you think about that you realize how lucky you are and we live in a very nice bubble. I really like my bubble but I really want to try to get out of it especially when I am in India. – Ale

One of the most peaceful ten minutes of my life since I came to India. This field trip that we went on today was a very, very exciting experience for me because I am very fascinated by the Buddha. I have been reading the book "Buddha" by Karen Armstrong recently and find his theories and teachings very interesting and true. So for me to come here to a place where the Buddha is worshipped is something I have wanted to do for some weeks now. It was really interesting because I have never really meditated like that before and I found it rather nice. At first I thought I wouldn't like it and that it was silly but when I got started I felt happy and excited at the same time. The whole concept of meditating and relaxing yourself in this way is something I have only read about in a book. I felt as if I had been lifted up. I felt lighter. – Rasmus

I liked the idea of love and compassion meaning different things. Love meaning you want the best for someone else and compassion meaning you want to end suffering. I think those meanings are much better than the meanings we all, know them for. You told us to think of someone we saw or remember or concentrate on sending them a blessing. This was interesting, in most religions people pray to a god, in this case it was like we were gods, but at the same time people. We were feeling for other people and sending them blessings, as if answering their prayers. – Alex

In this field trip to a Buddhist place, we meditated and thought about the suffering of other people. First we sat in a circle and breathed and then started thinking about someone other than ourselves who was suffering. We then offered them hope from our hearts that their suffering would stop. According to Buddhists life is suffering and when we discover the cause of suffering is desire or an expectation we understand that is we let go of our desires and expectations we wouldn't suffer. However, that wasn't the goal of this field trip. The goal was to move on from focusing on your own suffering and notice how much others around you suffer. The goal was to wish for the well being of someone else for a chance. We were asked when the last time we wishes for the wellbeing of someone from our hearts were, and honestly I had trouble remembering a time I wished well from the heart for someone other than myself, my family and some of my friends. This really showed me that I should be happy for what I have, because there's someone out there who doesn't have anything, and is truly suffering. – Anya

We were told to choose someone who is having a hard time with life at the moment and that we should send our blessings to them. This was very hard as I see so many people that I know having a rough time right now but in the end I chose my grandmother and tried to send out positive thoughts and prayers for her general wellbeing. After our blessings, we focused on Delhi, the whole of India then Asia ands we were asked the last time we really thought about suffering in the world. I couldn't remember and I figured that I should start to do some thinking. Meditation is very calming and I personally have the feeling of sleeping but being awake at the same time. The environment that we were meditating in at the dharma center also contributed to the calming affect it had on me. The lighting was appropriately dim and the fact that we could not hear any of the chaos and noise outside also helped us reach a point of isolation from everyone else in that room. I felt like I was alone and at peace with myself. – Nina

While thinking of people who are less fortunate than me, I pictured the two sisters I pass everyday on the way to school. One of them has something wrong with their foot, the other gets beat regularly. I thought about what it would feel like to live like that, it would probably break me. I realized that they were dealt a bad hand when they were born, but people like my driver, who had befriended them over the years, helped whenever they could. Every time I see them they always smile and wave, I think that it's amazing they can do that when their world is so cruel, for lack of a better word. – Irena

Usually I don't enjoy meditation or yoga, this time I felt that it was really precious time to think about one person who was having a hard time and bless them kindly. Although our class couldn't stay there long enough because of a lack of time to go back to school again, I felt really comfortable and purified after I blessed one kid I met in "Reach Out" one of the service clubs at the American Embassy High School who lived on the streets in front of the school. I couldn't forget his bright eyes and facial expressions though he was very poor. – Jeeyeon

I really liked meditating, that helped me relax and forget the outside world a lot. I believe my spiritual well wishing might have done someone some good. - Kevin

gelongma palmo had two eyes

back in sarnath for a brief spring visit. reminding me vividly of my stay here before, none of my three teachers really has much time to read, despite the genuinely warm reception they gave me. i leave in two days for dharamsala, where the ever generous geshe rinchen ngodrup la remains eager to work on anything regarding nuns and vinaya!

meanwhile, i met some tibetan and himalayan nuns from Thrangu Tara Abbey in nepal. (photo above comes from their website.) thrangu tara abbey has in excess of 200 nuns and includes a vigorous study program, as well as facilities for nuns to do three-year meditation retreat. nine nuns are currently in solitary retreat there at the moment.

in light of conversations about full ordination for nuns in the tibetan traditions, and especially in terms of their own level of interest, the following conversation i had with one of the thrangu nuns may be worth reporting. she was clearly devoted to his holiness karmapa, and was in sarnath at this monastery to participate in pujas scheduled to coincide with a visit by hh karmapa.

we were seated on the steps to the main assembly hall, in the midst of many of the monastery monks, waiting for the fireworks that a chinese disciple had organized in celebration of chinese new year. i gave this nun a copy of a book that had been produced recording his holiness the dalai lama's address to nuns last year. she asked what it was about and i explained that it had a good deal to say about full ordination for tibetan nuns as bhiksunis. she said at once said, in tibetan, 'yes we need this. we need this book and we need gelongma vows. we are waiting for that, and when it comes we will be first in line.' this was definitely loud enough for the monks around her to hear. and they all became attentive to her comments. one monk was listening while standing in front of us holding some fireworks (not lit), and she said, with obvious humor but also quite firmly, 'please don't point that at me. i need my eyes. i need to have my eyes for when there is gelongma ordination! it could be one of the requirements, to have both eyes! anyway, i need my eyes. did gelongma palmo* have only one eye? did arya tara? no, they did not. so i also need
both my eyes, just like them. so please do not point that at me!'

the monks laughed in good humor and the one holding the fireworks shuffled off chuckling. this outspoken and skillful nun is tibetan, from the border area near nepal, and she was just spectacular.

fortunately for her, she is following a lama who is supportive of her aspirations, and probably that is not a coincidence!


* gelongma palmo is one of the very few fully ordained nuns noted in the transmission lineages of tibetan buddhism, and so serves as a model inspiring female practitioners in particular. her photo appears in the frontispiece to the book in question by HHDL. gelongma is the tibetan term for bhikshuni, or fully ordained nun.

read the speech

for those who are curious, here is a link that will take you to the text contained in the booklet mentioned in the above blog entry. the pdf begins with the comments made by his holiness the dalai lama in tibetan, followed by a translation into english. the english text begins on page 22 of the pdf file.

read the speech by his holiness the dalai lama, addressed to tibetan nuns in mundgod, south india.

taking the text in hand

while in sarnath, i attended a private audience with his holiness the karmapa, in the company of my korean friend, chonyi-la, and her mother and sister. when i first entered the room, i took the opportunity to offer 50 copies of the book mentioned in the next blog entry - a speech by his holiness the dalai lama, for and about tibetan nuns - to his holiness the karmapa - as consistent and clear a supporter of nuns as one could hope to find among lamas.

i placed the books on his table when i first entered the room, and even before we were seated, his holiness the karmapa had taken the book in hand and begun reading, nodding in agreement...

cherry blossoms in november

the house i am occupying in north india, in kangra valley, is now home to three nuns from three different buddhist traditions:

- myong-do sunim, a korean nun now doing a 100-day retreat (and whose haunting chanting of the name of the buddha of compassion now fills the air of this autumn afternoon). it was myong-do sunim who found this house in the first place, a house whose three other vacant rooms nangpel, alicia and i were all too happy to make use of;

- my friend, sister metta, who is ordained in the theravada thai forest tradition, and normally resides in the amaravati monastic community in england. she will be with me for the month of november, and i have been finding it deeply inspiring to share the monastic life with her here even for this short time in our improvised 'nunnery', and to learn of life in her nuns' community; and

me in my tibetan robes.

here are three photos, all taken on our roof, each to various degrees featuring the cherry trees that are now puzzling us by bursting into bloom in november. perhaps this is the time here.